VN - Ren'Py - Lilith Rising [v2.1.0ns] [Jubei]

edit rating
it´s now much better after some changes
if it continued like this i don´t see why it shouldn´t become later (maybe halfway the game) 5 *
can´t wait how it will progress with the story
tasklist has no really use so far i mean you can´t do anything other then whats given by choices (talk to queen, take your bow etc.) like go out without your bow or something like that maybe it will have later more means (i don´t know if freeroam planned where the tasklist would have a use)

The character models are nice, and the backgrounds are mostly ok. The story sounds interesting enough, but the writing doesn't click.
MC is the prince of a country but he somehow believes that Jezz is out of his league? Gwen is either his fiancé or his sister but he feels shy around her (more then she does). His behavior during the attack scene was horrible. He wakes up to some loud noise and without knowing what it was he says "someone is going to pay for this"? This line felt so out of place there.
While I understand the event is set up so he can't save his family members, which will give him his motivation, but the way it's depicted looks bad. Like how he is just sitting on his ass and watching the demon catching the queen then turning and running away. It was shown that he can't damage the skeleton guy but he doesn't even try to save her.
The scene with Jezz doesn't make any sense, and MC-s reaction to it is just stupid. "I'm not ready"? Why not "WTF are you doing when people are dying out there?"
Then he vows to return and save Gwen and immediately starts restoring a house and settle down? And then he has a dream about Gwens horrible fate. She was turned into a maid...

The quest log would make sense in a sandbox game but currently the only scene when you could choose the order of the listed objectives was when visiting the king's room after the tournament. Unless the game turns to a sandbox after the prologue, the quest log is useless and should be removed.

The sound imitating text should be removed, changed to some description of the sound or change to a sound effect.
For example what does cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck want to symbolize? While I have some ideas, but it's not something evident, or something that the MC finds strange, so instead of adding to the immersion it pulls me out of the scene.

All these issues could be fixed, since the game is in a very early stage, or at least avoided in future updates. As it is currently I'm afraid the writing will drag the game down which could otherwise be very enjoyable.

In itself a fine start I think for this game. The graphics are very good and look really clean. In addition, the game uses animations which is a plus on its own anyway, and these animations were also really smooth. All in all, the graphics were pretty good, not exceptionally good but really good.

The story, on the other hand, is a bit off. Firstly, I never find it that strong to see fighting women in a medieval game. It is not historically accurate at all, even though it is very cool and could be done in the present day, it just doesn't fit the genre. The story does have its positives but the dialogue between the characters is not significant and it feels a bit empty.

Indeed, very few important things are said and not much seems to be happening. The characters (love interests) also don't really have a personality which might be why the dialogue feels so insignificant.

As a result, the player does not yet really feel a connection with the characters in the game and so it does less with the player when something happens to the characters. I would recommend the dev to build up the characters a bit more first so that the player builds up some sympathy.

If it was just down to the story I probably would have given 2 stars but the graphics and animations easily lift this game to 3 stars.

wow, it's only a short version, but the world setting and opening is really engaging, so I'm looking forward to the next updates in the future.

hope the story will have many different branches both good and bad to be able to make choices